Life Lesson - The Guilt of Not Being ‘Perfect’: The Mom Struggle is Real

The Guilt of Not Being ‘Perfect’: The Mom Struggle is Real

#1 The Guilt of Not Being ‘Perfect’: The Mom Struggle is Real

Ah, motherhood. The only job where the expectations are sky-high, and the pay is non-existent—unless you count the hugs and the occasional macaroni masterpiece as currency. In a world that seems to celebrate perfection, many moms find themselves in the sticky web of guilt when they can't quite measure up. So, grab a cold coffee (you deserve it!) and let’s unpack this hefty backpack full of expectations, guilt, and a sprinkle of unnecessary pressure.

## The Myth of the 'Perfect' Mom

Picture this: It’s 8 AM, your toddler is covered in last night's spaghetti, and you've forgotten to put on matching shoes (or any shoes at all). As you frantically juggle breakfast, planning your daughter's birthday party, and answering work emails, you scroll through social media to find that one friend. You know the one—she’s sharing her perfectly curated life, complete with homemade organic snacks and a Pinterest-worthy craft project that took her three days to complete. You can’t help but wonder, “What is this black magic she’s practicing, and where did I go wrong?”

Let’s face it, the ‘perfect’ mom is a myth. Behind every beautifully arranged Instagram post is a whirlwind of chaos that no one talks about.

## The Societal Pressure Cooker

It’s as if society has collectively decided that we, as moms, are responsible for everything—nurturing, teaching, cooking, and even crafting those adorable post-school snacks that look like farm animals! From baby yoga classes to home-cooked meals five days a week, the pressure can feel suffocating. You’d think we have to earn a medal for simply getting through the day. But spoiler alert: there’s no medal, only the knowledge that you’ve survived another day in the wild world of motherhood.

Research suggests that these unrealistic standards can lead to feelings of inadequacy and overwhelm. In fact, the “perfect mom” stereotype can contribute to mental health issues. So, let’s break it down, shall we?

## Identifying the Guilt

1. **Unwritten Rules**: You feel guilty for not adhering to the societal norms that dictate what a “good” mom should be. If you’ve ever cringed at the thought of serving your kid frozen pizza for the third time that week, you’re in good company.

2. **Comparing Your Behind-the-Scenes to Others' Highlights**: Remember that Instagram scroll we mentioned? Yeah, it doesn’t help to look at another mom's perfectly staged life while your living room looks like it’s been taken over by a tornado. You have to remind yourself that you’re seeing the highlight reel, not the messy reality.

3. **Multi-Tasking Madness**: Whether it’s balancing work and family life or trying to fit in a “me day,” we often juggle so many responsibilities that we feel like spinning plates. It’s exhausting and can easily lead to guilt if we drop one.

## Real Talk: Tips and Advice

1. **Embrace the Imperfect**: Accept that perfection is not only unattainable but also boring. Embrace the mess—those random Cheerios stuck to the kitchen floor are a sign of a life well-lived (or at least one that’s being lived)!

2. **Set Realistic Expectations**: If you can’t bake a cake from scratch or make a three-course meal every evening, don’t sweat it. Opt for takeout occasionally and call it a “party!” Your kids won’t know the difference, and you’ll save yourself the stress.

3. **Prioritize Self-Care (Even If It’s Mini-Sized)**: Whether it’s five minutes in the bathroom with the door locked or a spontaneous coffee run, make sure to carve out a little time for yourself each day. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so fill yours first, even if it’s just a shot of espresso.

4. **Ditch the Comparison Game**: Remember, it’s not a competition. Find your tribe—other moms who are just as messy, tired, and in need of wine. Lean on each other because solidarity makes it a lot easier to laugh at the chaos.

5. **Talk About It**: Open the dialogue about guilt and expectations with fellow moms. Sometimes sharing your struggles brings the biggest relief. It’s a liberating experience to realize that everyone else is trying to navigate this wild ride just like you.

## Conclusion: Perfectly Imperfect

At the end of the day, the only “perfect” thing about being a mom is the love—you unconditionally love your kids, and they love you back (most of the time, anyway!). So let’s ditch the guilt and raise a glass (of whatever’s left in the bottom of your coffee cup) to the wonderfully chaotic journey of motherhood.

Remember, perfection is overrated; being authentically you is where the magic happens. Welcome to the ‘Messy Mom’ club—where there’s no judging, only support and the occasional laugh about our epic fails. Cheers to being perfectly imperfect!

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# 10 Tips for Moms to Survive the Day in the ‘Messy Mom Club’

1. **Embrace the Breakfast of Champions**: Cereal for breakfast? You bet! In fact, make a habit of it! If your kids insist on a "balanced" breakfast, remind them that the soggy cereal in the bowl counts as a solid food group. Bonus points for pouring in some fruit snacks—fruit-like, right?

2. **Master the Art of the Naptime Ninja**: When the little ones go down for their naps (or a "quiet time"), use that window wisely. Spend 15 minutes on chores if you must, but then treat yourself to a power nap, some Netflix time, or a random episode of that new show everyone won't stop raving about. You've earned it!

3. **Keeping It Real with Dinner**: If the thought of cooking after a long day makes you want to curl up and cry, grab some frozen meals or takeout. Let your kids pick a theme for “Takeout Tuesdays”—suddenly, you're both international travellers and culinary geniuses!

4. **Laundry Logic**: Waiting for laundry piles to disappear is like waiting for a unicorn. Instead, tackle it like a game—see how many items you can throw at the basket from across the room. Score points for every successful hit and double points for those pesky socks!

5. **Rock the ‘No’**: Get comfortable saying no to things that drain you. If you don't have the bandwidth to host that playdate or attend another meeting, kindly bow out. Your sanity (and possibly your wine glass) will thank you!

6. **Crafty Chaos**: 'Arts and crafts' can sometimes feel like a disaster in the making. Instead, stockpile a few boxes of crayons and large sheets of butcher paper. Let kids go wild on the floor—no mess to clean up, and you can just roll it up when they’re done (bonus: it doubles as “decor”)!

7. **Guilt-Free Screen Time**: Let’s face it, a little screen time never hurt anyone. Pop on educational shows, documentaries, or that delightful nonsense that your kids love while you take a moment to decompress. After all, even superheroes need to recharge.

8. **Prepped Snacks Are Your Best Friends**: Forget gourmet lunchboxes—whip up some snack bags for quick access. Pre-portion them so snacks are ready to grab and go, ensuring your kids have their “fuel” while you keep your upgrade to the “Supermom” status on hold.

9. **Create a Fun Family Ritual**: Whether it's dance parties in the living room or nightly “what's the best and worst part of our day” chats, establish simple routines that foster connection but are also incredibly low effort on your part. After the chaos, these moments will make you all feel like a team.

10. **Celebrate the Small Wins**: Did you get everyone out the door with matching shoes? That’s a huge victory! Managed to brush your hair today? Call the paparazzi! Celebrate every small win, because in the messy world of motherhood, those are the moments that truly count.

Embrace the chaos and remember that in the ‘Messy Mom Club’, every imperfection is just part of the adventure. You’ve got this! 🥳

Here are 5 real-life hacks to help moms streamline their day and reduce stress: ### 5 Real-Life Hacks for Busy Moms 1. **Invest in a Decent Planner**: A good planner can be your best friend. Look for one that includes spaces for meal planning, grocery lists, and daily tasks. Some popular options include the Erin Condren Life Planner, Passion Planner, or even a digital planner like Trello or AnyList. Use it to plan your meals for the week, make a grocery list, and schedule your tasks. This will help you stay organized and ensure that you don't forget important appointments or deadlines. 2. **Delegate and Share the Love**: You don't have to do everything yourself. Delegate tasks to your partner, kids, or even hire help if possible. Create a chore chart or a list of tasks that need to be done daily/weekly and assign them to family members. This can include things like loading the dishwasher, folding laundry, or taking out the trash. Not only will this free up some time for you, but it will also teach your kids important life skills and responsibility. 3. **Prioritize with the Top 5**: Start your day by making a list of the top 5 tasks that need to be done. Rank them in order of importance and tackle the most critical ones first. Use the Eisenhower Matrix to categorize tasks into urgent vs. important and focus on the most critical ones first. As you complete each task, tick it off your list. This will give you a sense of accomplishment and help you stay focused on what needs to be done. 4. **Meal Prep like a Pro**: Meal prep can be a lifesaver for busy moms. Set aside one day a week to plan and prep your meals for the next few days. This can include chopping vegetables, cooking proteins, and assembling salads or lunches. Use containers or bags to portion out individual meals and label them so everyone knows what they're having. You can also prep snacks like fruit, cheese, and crackers, or energy balls made with oats and nuts. 5. **Use Technology to Your Advantage**: There are many apps and tools available that can help you stay organized and streamline your day. Some popular options include: * To do list or Trello for task management * Any List or Out of Milk for grocery lists and meal planning * Google Calendar or Apple Calendar for scheduling appointments and events * Habitica or HabitBull for tracking habits and routines * Amazon Alexa or Google Home for setting reminders and playing music or podcasts Use these tools to set reminders, track your tasks, and stay connected with your family. You can also use them to automate repetitive tasks, such as ordering groceries or paying bills, to free up more time for things you enjoy. By implementing these hacks, you can reduce stress, increase productivity, and have more time for the things that matter most to you. Remember, being a busy mom doesn't mean you have to be overwhelmed. With the right tools and strategies, you can stay on top of your game and enjoy the journey.

Items to help organise or just keep up with life!

1. Digital Planners